Be Where You Are. What Does That Really Mean?
As I was taking my youngest son to the bus stop this morning – enjoying the fact that the days here in Atlanta are finally starting to warm up so my brain is actually able to focus on something other than the cold wind turning my hot coffee into ice coffee in less than 10 minutes – I was reflecting on a great blog post I watched last week by my friend Kary Rogney. He discussed his new plan to go un-plugged for one full day each week. If you have not watched his post, I highly recommend taking a few moments to check it out here.
Kary discusses some of the struggles he faces with time management, family demands and the challenges of building a business online. I can certainly relate directly to Kary’s story and I am sure many of you can do the same.
When I started my latest online business, my wife and I agreed that I would not work on Sundays and we would make that one day our Family Day dedicated to church, our children, and just hanging out as a family. I had all the best intentions to keep this day sacred, but I quickly found I was not holding up my end of the bargain… as the weeks passed, there was a team call I “had to be on”, then there was the Sunday night webinar I just “couldn’t miss”, and the list of so-called “can’t miss” interruptions just seemed to keep growing.
Well, thanks to Kary I have rededicated myself to my Sunday Family Days, but I want to take this concept just a bit further; it is an idea I would like you to think about and then share your thoughts with me. The idea is not new to me, it is something I heard many years ago from one of my mentors in the sales industry who was not only very financially successful, but also led a very balanced life with time for his family and for recreation. One day we were having lunch talking about balance in our work lives and he said , “Scott, if you really want to be happy and successful learn this one thing; be where you are”.
So what the heck does” be where you are” mean? Well, let me paint a quick picture for you and see if your life is anything like mine. My family is constantly on the run and technology invades our lives at every level imaginable…
I have 3 amazing children and every time we get in the car to go somewhere, the older two are texting on their cell phones and my youngest is banging on his latest video game. Hmmmm… not really quality family time here.
It’s Friday night and we are having dinner at one of our favorite Mexican restaurants. There is a television in every corner and the kids are intently watching one tv and I find myself watching sports on another one out of the corner of my eye. Hmmmm… not really quality family time here.
Saturday night at our house and we are all sitting down to watch a movie together. Yep, we are all together and watching the latest and greatest release out of Hollywood… of course it has to be family friendly for all us to watch; including my very cool seven year old. But once again, here we all are with our cell phones in hand. My daughter is texting away, my middle son is tapping away on his keyboard playing Tetris (granted this is one of the most addicting games ever created), and here I am just like Pavlov’s dog… checking my email every single time I hear that notorious sound on my trusty iPhone. Hmmmm… not really quality family time here.
Dinner time at our house and we all gather around the table for a home cooked meal (yep, my wife and I actually cook a majority of the time). I come down from my office and we dig into a great meal. We have not been at the table long when my wife looks me right in the eye and says, “where are you? You are certainly not here with us”. BAM, it hits me like a ton of bricks over the head and I have to answer “I am still working on my latest project”. Hmmmm… not really quality family time here.
Ok, so what does it mean to “be where you are”? The answer is this; learn to enjoy your life in the moment you are in. When you are working, put your whole heart and soul into your work… this is your work time make the most of it, this is not the time to be daydreaming about your family, friends and the activities for the coming weekend. When you are with your family, put away your work; not just physically, but also mentally. Be with your family in mind and body. This is family time really dig in and enjoy it to the fullest; it is not the time to be running through the latest project in your head.
Technology is great, but don’t let it become an electronic leash. The world will not come to an end if you don’t respond to an email within 5 minutes or a text message within 30 seconds, and IT IS OKAY if you don’t answer the phone every single time it rings. As Kary so greatly put it… Go unplugged. Then indulge and “Be Where You Are”!
If you resonate with this and have some ideas or encouraging words to share, I’d love to hear from you down below. And if you think the people over on Twitter would benefit, a ReTweet is always appreciated too, and if you think your FaceBook following would benefit from these words feel free to share them with your friends.
11 Responses to “Be Where You Are. What Does That Really Mean?”
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Amanda Baldwin on Video Marketing – 3 Tips (2)
Thanks for the sharing the video tips Scott! I agree also with Jason's comment
Jason Armbruster on Video Marketing – 3 Tips (2)
Scott ... I'm amazed, sometimes, at how many videos out on the web have NO "call
beachbody shakeology on Fitness (1)
This is the most informative blog that I have ever come across I will
Oliver Tausend on Effective MLM Prospecting (1)
Hi Scott, you are right on: MLM prospecting is the activity we get paid for. That's
Jon on Blog Content – Video Vs. Text (2)
Thank you for the post. I am about to start a blog in the near
Let’s Be Social
Totally agree with you Scott. You have to give the moment you are in your full attention. I’ve struggled with this also. Takes practice, practice, practice to accomplish this and the benefits are so great once you do.
thanks for a great article!
Val
Oh Scott! Al & I also have rededicated ourselves to that “unplugged” time when you finally can really “plug in” to the most important things in life othere than the business and electronic addictors.
How have you worked it out with the kids? That is sometimes the hardest becausse they don’t have the concepts yet that help them understand the importance and value of it. I’d love to see a blog on how it worked with them….did they agree not to text or play the games etc, without feeling that you stopped them etc?
Keep us up to date please.
Thanks for such a wonderfully thoughtful and insightful blog.
Sandy
Scott Scales Reply:
March 9th, 2010 at 7:49 pm
@Sandy & Al Abrams, We just use simple rule that when we have family time… no electronic gadgets. My wife a I are leading by example by putting ours away first. We have found that traditional board games as a family are a blast.
Hi Scott,
Awesome post, I have read Kary’s post as well about unplugging and I really love the idea.
A day off will really give me more power to work harder imo
Keep on sharing your value with us, it’s appreciated!
Yannick van den Bos
Scott Scales Reply:
March 9th, 2010 at 7:52 pm
@Yannick van den Bos, Kary’s post really got me looking at how I was managing my own life,
Hi Scott: Disconnect to reconnect and the priority to do so at will with the family and friends and others that are in front of you or on your mind. Do it! We really appreciate each other when we can connect even with all the distractions and seemingly greater priorities. Family and friends are more important than business projects and outside thoughts and things. Remember, life is only in the moment/ Don’t miss your son, daughter & wife’s brief connect as they may not be there. I really felt it when my son said, my dad lives in Texas so I don’t see or talk to him. Also, life can be gone in a flash and you will wish you had taken the moment to smile and laugh with someone.
Scott Scales Reply:
March 9th, 2010 at 7:52 pm
@Arlan Murata, It is truly amazing the peace we can find when we actually allow ourselves to be quiet.
Hi Scott,
Found your article from a Tweet. I agree with you 100%. I find myself being a slave to my iPhone, ignoring my wife and family. In past years some of the best times we have had has been in areas that have NO SERVICE, which means No Choice, No Phone.
Thank you for the encouraging words.
Scott Scales Reply:
March 9th, 2010 at 7:53 pm
@Tommy McDonnell, Tommy I visited your blog. Very cool stuff. I will be coming back by to learn more. I am all about fitness.
Man, I can really relate with this post. This is something that I struggle with a lot. When I set a goal, It is almost like I put the blinders on and forget about everything else. Even when I do stop to spend time with my husband and son I find that my mind is still thinking about what I need to do for my business. I really have to stop myself and force myself to remember that the whole reason that I am working so hard is so that I can spend more time with my family.
Finding that balance can be really difficult. I think it is great that you are working to have your uninterrupted family time. I love that you said that you are all sitting down and playing board games.
I have recently started following Sam Crowley of http://everydayissaturday.com. If you haven’t heard of him, I highly recommend you check him out! I don’t want to get too much into it now because this comment will get too long, but basically, we need to define what our perfect day would look like. (I will have to do a blog post soon)
What will each day look like when we have reached the success that we desire and have the time freedom? Once you define that, then we should work to make our days as much like that as we can. So if our goal is to spend 6 hours a day working on our business and then spend the evening enjoying our family, we need to start making some time for our families each day now.
When we spend every waking moment working, we are subconsciously telling ourselves that it isn’t that important to have time with our families. If we aren’t willing to make time for them now, will we ever?
I love that you brought up this topic. Thanks for the great reminder about how important it is to “UNPLUG”!
Scott,
Boy, I’m chewing on every word here. You are singing my song. I can’t begin to tell you how many times I’ve answered the phone, checked the email, attended a “can’t miss” webinar….. all on a promise to NOT do that during agreed upon family time.
Finding balance in our business and family and faith…. whew! I hope many, many people read this article and reflect on their own life and see what may need prioritizing. I have to work at ‘being where I am’ all the time.
It’s nice to know that we all have these challenges and it’s not just one or two of us. Thank you for sharing and being authentic… it’s helps us all my friend.
Debbie Turner